Day One: Your Birth Story Part 2

Day One was so scary for us. How did we go from having a healthy pregnancy to having a preemie baby within 48 hours?! There were a lot of questions and fears racing through our minds. I still don't even fully understand all of it. Clint was so good to take the reigns and to be patient with me as I struggled. As soon as he was out they took Grayson to immediately begin giving him oxygen. They did put him on a ventilator and started IVs. As soon as I was stitched they wheeled me past him, from my hospital bed, let me see his sweet little self, and sent me right to recovery. He was taken the opposite way to the NICU.

As a mom, I cannot begin to describe to you the agony that comes from not even being able to hold your baby. The first few moments of their lives are so precious and so memorable. It has always been a huge bonding moment for me to be able to have my infant laid on my chest. It was so hard to have that taken away.

After an hour in recovery, they wheeled me back through the NICU, and I was able to touch my sweet little man for the very first time. I got to hold his little hand for only a couple of minutes, but I told him I loved him and would be back as soon as I could. I told him, "You fight for me Grayson, cause Mommy loves you and needs you here." Then before I knew it, I was on my way to my room. It's like a big tease I tell you. However, I was grateful for that moment. To just feel his warm, soft baby skin and to see this little miracle that I had created. I think I bawled for quite a while and just kept hitting my morphine button to take away the pain of my C-section, those things hurt like hell.

Finally that evening, still hooked to an IV and magnesium to lower my blood pressure, they stood me up, put me in a wheel chair, and wheeled me to NICU. For the first time I got to hold my baby in my arms. Again, no words to describe this moment. I was ecstatic. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll let mine do the talking for me;

 

Dear Baby Grayson,

You're a tough little cookie. On day one you were taken off the ventilator and given a nasal cannula.--Which is pretty ahhh-mazing, son! You also scored two 7's and a 9 on your APGARS. Honestly, I wasn't told which score you got for what. I was told that most normal gestation babies don't score 9's, and that it's pretty unheard of for a preemie to ever get a 9! You took my breathe away, you are so beautiful. You remind me so much of your brothers, I see a lot of Tyson and Preston when I look at you. You have an amazing spirit about you, and I know you were sent to me for a very special purpose. I love you so very much! You are my little man.

Love,

Mommy